The Maynard
Spring 2018

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Armamentarium

Safety in tools is
required when the pelvis
deforms from rickets.

Decapitators,
symphysis knives, levers. Crude
hooks. The ribcage may

have malformed from the
corset. L-shaped blunt grapnel.
Pincers. The fetus

insists on brute force.
Spooned oblong with the vectis,
forceps for leverage.

Ingest laxatives.
Compress the skull, wrench tissue.
This will work in a

dystocial pinch. Make
sure you douche to drain toxins.
Babies who do not

come easily lack
a vital spirit. Pray to
the higher power.

The one with pure gall.
Speed is of the essence to
relieve this burden.

Cephalotribe; the
cranium perforator
of our frenetic

time. Then, Chamberlen
Forceps; the Granddaddy of
all obstetric tools.

Fenestrated blades,
their rounded edges. Word is
the Japanese use

an apparatus
of nets and whale bone. The French
stab the skull with a

poker, dismember
and purge. Pre-mutilation,
midwife squirts holy

water up the birth
canal by syringe. We ooze
female. Laudable

pus. In utero
baptism before the babe’s
noxious invasion.

Vermin can crawl up
the gaping hole. Crochet hook
is angled and lost

in the womb. Curettes
remove placenta. Inside
a fistula weeps.

A pessary is
required. Prepare yourself for
structural support.

In the end we must
master the way to wrench a
spook; quick like a milk

bunny. Even in
malignancy, another
babe is born. Atoned.