appealing

The Maynard
Spring 2018

Heather Bourbeau
0:00
 
 

Dreilinden

My friend has taken his life 5000 miles away.
I learned this from email upon waking.
I learned this from the sorrow of a sister wracked.
I learned from this, I am not as numb as I believed.

Before I leave Berlin, I light a candle in the Polish church.
I am an imposter among the crowded faithful, singing.
Hallelujah universal rising in my throat.
For a moment, I am calmed.
For a moment, I belong.

The swallows are gathering in trees
as I pass the greening Dreilinden forest,
former Checkpoint Bravo into the DDR.

In Leipzig, a museum caretaker wipes the second floor bannister
as dirt falls from shoes climbing to the third.
No one in this gallery knew him, that he breathed once
and breathes no more.

I learn that Karneval donuts are JFK’s Berliners
and that a popular band from my youth took their name
from the twitch of bodies being shot along barbed wire.

I continue south to the Swiss town he called home.
I wander streets, aware his feet fell on these stones,
that it was somewhere here that the voices began.

I look to the night sky for Orion.
I want to anchor myself as if the world did not spin.
As if we are not little prisoners, little prisoners.