appealing

The Maynard
Spring 2018

Erin Wilson
0:00
 
 

Now

You are in your car in traffic.
Or in your work shirt, your smart smock, your suit.
Or you’re in the grocery aisle.
Or you are in your child’s room picking up toys,
the yellow and blue DUPLO spaceman
lying on his right arm (right, if he is facing you).
Or you are in your silk blouse with the plunging neckline.
Or in your red dress with its clever ruching.
Or in your wool sweater (the beloved one with wasted waistline).
Or you are at your mother’s house in cigarette smoke.
Or you’re in her house in the 2000s when she has given up smoking.
Or you’re at the OB-GYN’s again, acquiescing again, legs up again.
Or under your husband as he’s coming down onto you,
his breath close, becoming hot and salty.
Or you’re standing at the sink again,
washing those same chipped dishes
(the ones you swear you’ll replace),
scrubbing those same stained pots.
You are clearly in your life, vividly, standing there,
in the middle of it,
planting potatoes,
gingerly tipping their eye-sprouts upward.
Or releasing spuds, reproduced and earth-shunted.
Or it is snowing now, and you are standing in the snow,
your hair glistening, getting wet,
your larder full, for now.
You are about to open the door to begin your dissertation.
Your hand is on the doorknob.