The Maynard
Fall 2018

my tiny minnow
           for Samuel

you bolted from school
& your foot clipped
the stair       oceans of air
chased     the length & breadth
of you

the erasure of your body
into confusions    of continuum:
ampersands of limbs
& your hands      swimming
through rising beads
of sound

& i on tenterhooks
too far away     & fraying
my fault you vaulted
my fault you vaulted into space

                                                               (i am not made for this:
                                                               every day is nebulous)

even knitted
to my pelvis tight
in the vise of liquid
rumpled foothold
in my spine      your kicks
almost seismic   before
you were evicted
neck cords taut
squat body      overwrought
chalky haunches        at last
chalky haunches        at last unfettered

                                                               (i am not made for this:
                                                               too tremulous at the viscera)

my tiny minnow
so mercurial
always winnowing
yourself from me
each leaden minute
my mind swims

your silence has spikes
a surplus & i’m nervous
your wanderlust is wordless
makes my world less      sure

until your body ripens
until your body ripens into sound

                                                               (i am unmade by this:
                                                                                 life’s a grist)

i see you
my precious fish
microscopic
as if on a precipice
so myopic

i am forever
on the verge of loss
even as you
disassemble me
this rush        most
this rush        most resembles love